I never leave Africa unchanged. This trip was unique: the fire seemed hotter, the mountain steeper, and the rain constantly ill timed. Maybe it felt this way because I was alone or I felt alone whether I was really alone or not. But when there's no way out but up certain things happen.
Consider this: Right out of the gate Moses led his people into a dead end. Literally, they were about to be killed. Imagine the amount of responsibility he must have felt. Imagine how defeated he must have been. And the people complained because they couldn't see what was really happening.
God breathed on the water and showed His strength. And by going through it they were saved.
When it seems like we are trapped in our own mistakes and inabilities...we are.
The way out is not retreating; the way out is not creating a new way; the way is through His strength...
Just when you thought you were a failure He provides dry solid ground, just to show you that He who can part water cares about you.
Can't wait to get home and tell you guys all about it.
GOD is Greater
billy
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Being Bombed
All over Sudan and South Sudan bombs are now falling, people are dying, hope is failing, and there is no future. Some days I run for cover, other days I stand and fight. Some days I just pray and hope. Let me be clear, the bombs I am fleeing and fighting are not those that are falling up north (google "Sudan news"). The bombs falling here in Wadupe will not kill my physical body. Eph 6:12. But the bombs of despair, confusion, division, and darkness are falling on us; they are devastating and they are killing this nation.
Gaga, a young boy I am discipling and teaching to manage the base, walked with me to the main road to catch a ride to Yei. "You cannot walk this road at night," he said. "Wizards move here. The man who used to live here," he points to his left, "took his family away because they were disturbed by demons and bad dreams."....BOOM..victory for fear.
"Let the foreigners come and develop us,"...BOOM..victory for the sloth.
"We are poor and unable to develop ourselves," BOOM...victory for the liar.
"#(*#@#, where is the engineer!! I work and work to get the materials out here and the community doesn't want to come and work, then they come and the engineer doesn't show up! and who keeps standing on the toilet!"...BOOM...victory for anger.
After just under two months of being here: 2 violent suicides, 1 death from the war, 1 death from disease...BOOM..victory for the worst of them all.
We are doomed...I want to give up...honestly, I don't see how this is possible...
...but in the chaos there is a whisper of Truth and it says to us:
You can't kill the One greater than death. His Love cannot lose. Darkness will not overtake the Light. But the Truth will set us free. Bomb and bomb all you want, victory is already ours and we are just waiting for our Father the Champion. And you know He's coming. We may scatter for a moment like ants in the bush. We may fail and hide and some may be lost for a while. But we will reform the line, we will take up the cause again and again, and we will build this Kingdom until these silly bombs are nothing to us and we are one. Hold on to the Truth. Hold on to the Way. Hold on to Righteousness. Hold on to the Living God....He is and was and will be...
BOOM
Gaga, a young boy I am discipling and teaching to manage the base, walked with me to the main road to catch a ride to Yei. "You cannot walk this road at night," he said. "Wizards move here. The man who used to live here," he points to his left, "took his family away because they were disturbed by demons and bad dreams."....BOOM..victory for fear.
"Let the foreigners come and develop us,"...BOOM..victory for the sloth.
"We are poor and unable to develop ourselves," BOOM...victory for the liar.
"#(*#@#, where is the engineer!! I work and work to get the materials out here and the community doesn't want to come and work, then they come and the engineer doesn't show up! and who keeps standing on the toilet!"...BOOM...victory for anger.
After just under two months of being here: 2 violent suicides, 1 death from the war, 1 death from disease...BOOM..victory for the worst of them all.
We are doomed...I want to give up...honestly, I don't see how this is possible...
...but in the chaos there is a whisper of Truth and it says to us:
You can't kill the One greater than death. His Love cannot lose. Darkness will not overtake the Light. But the Truth will set us free. Bomb and bomb all you want, victory is already ours and we are just waiting for our Father the Champion. And you know He's coming. We may scatter for a moment like ants in the bush. We may fail and hide and some may be lost for a while. But we will reform the line, we will take up the cause again and again, and we will build this Kingdom until these silly bombs are nothing to us and we are one. Hold on to the Truth. Hold on to the Way. Hold on to Righteousness. Hold on to the Living God....He is and was and will be...
BOOM
Friday, May 4, 2012
Go engineer Go!!!
Racing against the rainy season, the engineer is now casting the ring beam (beam of cement on top of the walls). A few more courses of bricks after that and then the roof. Let's get these kids out of the rain!! We gained a few more skilled volunteers for the mason work and the community should be coming in large numbers this week and next to speed up the job. Meanwhile, the WDC and I are planning projects for 2012. They are going to do some worm medicine distribution soon, thanks to some funding from Abby Moore( abbyelisemoore.blogspot.com )and other donors. After that the WDC is hosting a leadership seminar...
I was sitting in a coffee shop in Yei sipping on some ethiopian goodness. Juma came in with a pastor friend of his named Henry. Henry calls me "pineapple man" because of our lush pineapple garden in Wadupe. Henry and I start talking about Wadupe and some of the problems there. We talked about the lack of good leadership and good national examples for the people to follow. We talked about how the people of South Sudan have lived so long under the care of foreign aid and government handouts that they have no concept or desire for self development. Granted, when bombs are falling and you are forced to flee, handouts are necessary to survive. Praise the Lord for the massive list of organizations that provide relief for refugees. Unfortunately bombs fell for over twenty years, leaving a whole generation of adults and young people weakened. They remained motionless in refugee camps and foreign lands for so long they lost the muscle necessary for self development. I have used the illustration with the WDC, "if you are carried like a baby forever you will never learn to walk."
It was refreshing to hear Henry, a Sudani, talk about the need for his people to learn the ways of development. These ways include sacrifice, taxation, and donations for the sake of community and state. Just getting the chiefs to understand that nothing is free and you have to work to succeed has been a mountain. One chief's comment to me: "let the Ugandans, the Kenyans, and the white people come and develop us."....and that was a chief!!! So...Leadership seminar coming to a mango tree near you, led by Henry the pastor, hosted by Pineapple Man and the WDC.
You can't blame the chief for saying that or thinking that...yet. We have to change that mentality. A capable person who sits and complains, who doesn't feed himself, who welcomes foreigners to come and "develop" his own land is simply unwise or unschooled. I shudder when I think of these people welcoming outsiders into their farm land and their precious resources. I think a world history lesson is in order.
pray for us...pray for Sudan...pray for leadership.
GOD is Greater
billy
I was sitting in a coffee shop in Yei sipping on some ethiopian goodness. Juma came in with a pastor friend of his named Henry. Henry calls me "pineapple man" because of our lush pineapple garden in Wadupe. Henry and I start talking about Wadupe and some of the problems there. We talked about the lack of good leadership and good national examples for the people to follow. We talked about how the people of South Sudan have lived so long under the care of foreign aid and government handouts that they have no concept or desire for self development. Granted, when bombs are falling and you are forced to flee, handouts are necessary to survive. Praise the Lord for the massive list of organizations that provide relief for refugees. Unfortunately bombs fell for over twenty years, leaving a whole generation of adults and young people weakened. They remained motionless in refugee camps and foreign lands for so long they lost the muscle necessary for self development. I have used the illustration with the WDC, "if you are carried like a baby forever you will never learn to walk."
It was refreshing to hear Henry, a Sudani, talk about the need for his people to learn the ways of development. These ways include sacrifice, taxation, and donations for the sake of community and state. Just getting the chiefs to understand that nothing is free and you have to work to succeed has been a mountain. One chief's comment to me: "let the Ugandans, the Kenyans, and the white people come and develop us."....and that was a chief!!! So...Leadership seminar coming to a mango tree near you, led by Henry the pastor, hosted by Pineapple Man and the WDC.
You can't blame the chief for saying that or thinking that...yet. We have to change that mentality. A capable person who sits and complains, who doesn't feed himself, who welcomes foreigners to come and "develop" his own land is simply unwise or unschooled. I shudder when I think of these people welcoming outsiders into their farm land and their precious resources. I think a world history lesson is in order.
pray for us...pray for Sudan...pray for leadership.
GOD is Greater
billy
Friday, April 27, 2012
Sit down and think a minute
The last load of building supplies bounced down the road for Wadupe yesterday!! We sent out the roofing, wood, and some extra cement. The engineer is already rolling with it. He is now getting forms built to pour the cement beam around the top of the wall. By his estimations the roof should be finished in two or three weeks. Then its just doors, windows, desks and students. It has been a long frustrating journey; thanks for being patient. How simple it would have been to lead it all myself, bring in a crew, modern machinery, and hand them a school in a few months. But the time has been worth it. The frustrations and the ups and downs, all worth it. Because it's not, and never has been, about a school.
The other day I stepped into my latrine and saw two muddy footprints on the seat. I sighed deeply and wiped them off and closed the door behind me. For the next few minutes I sat there fuming about ignorance. "Is it too hard to figure out? It looks like a seat...with a hole in it. You sit down on it, duh. Don't squat on it with your dirty feet, and then leave it dirty for the next guy." It had been week like that. One cultural thing after another that got under my skin. This was the straw that made the camel think deeply. So I did just that. The staff probably wondered why I was in the latrine so long. But the Lord was dealing with me...weird timing, but whatever.
I recalled all the things that had bothered me that week, a tactic the evil one uses to keep you angry, and then it hit me...
"The project is the people."
That man was probably thinking the whole time that I was the stupid one for raising the latrine hole up so high, and here I was getting angry because the local didn't use the foreign toilet correctly. Billy, I thought, it's not about having a clean seat, or a community that understands how to use a western style toilet. It's about laughing over our differences and celebrating our commonalities. It's about showing each other a better way to live. I could have just giggled and wiped it off. I could track him down and teach him how to use it. Or I could just use the local style latrine next to it. No need to get angry over silly things that don't matter. He got my seat dirty; I raised his hole up too high and put a plastic ring around it. But there is something greater that the local squatter and I are about. There is something much more important here than how to use a latrine. I know this is crazy...but seriously, how often do we murder people in our minds because of something that doesn't matter. The thought hit me hard, then the beans hit me, and after the whole ordeal I just felt better about life.
So as we chip away at this school, as the community struggles to understand what I mean by "develop yourself," and I struggle to understand what they mean by "I couldn't come work because I had friends over," and as we all struggle to figure out the latrine situation, we have to remember it's us and how we love each other that really matters. Love is not self seeking. Love the Lord, Love your neighbor, and laugh about everything else.
GOD is Greater
billy
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Small Update
Hey Everyone!
Billy had a quick trip into Yei this week and was not able to write a blog. He called and said he is doing good, all the supplies are bought and work has started to finish the roof! Everyone is very excited and can't wait for it to be finished. Billy said that the meetings with the WDC are going really well, and that the base is looking really beautiful. They have planted all kinds of plants and trees and the summer rains have started, making everything green and fresh. I wish I could be there!
I don't know the next time he will be in town, but hopefully he will have time to give a longer update!
lots of love
allie
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Where's The Lamb?
Happy belated Passover and Easter. I hope yours was a good as mine. After a week of working with the WDC and getting the community going again on the school, it was nice to have a day of rest and rat...???
Sunday I preached at the small church I am attending in Wadupe. After the service the men sat around and talked as the women bustled around getting lunch prepared. First, hot tea...so good. Then came the big plate. As the lady ducked under the grass roof and through the small door into the mud hut I prayed, "Lord, thank you for dying and coming back to life. You are all powerfull and full of love. Please don't let that plate have dried fish in it." And don't you know He is so great. That plate indeed had no dried fish(dried fish is the one thing I absolutely hate about Sudan. It's fish that has sat out in the sun to dry. It's rotten and horrible and you have to eat all the little bones. Mothers should make their kids eat it when they say bad things). I looked at the mangled hunk of brown meat in front of me and thought, "maybe it's passover lamb."
"It's bush rat" said Rufus.
Ohhh...good, 'cause I...love me some bush rat.
I had just about stomached it down. My hands were shaking. I wondered if this is what Paul meant by suffering for Christ. But I could see the light. A few more bites and the deed was done. Plop. Plop. Two dried, stinky, rotten fish dropped right on top of my last bite of rat...sigh...(quietly mixing food around so it looks like I ate it)...deep breath..no way around it. Bones and all. I imagined Allie sitting on the dirt floor with a big plate of rat and rotten fish in front of her."I should probably start on a plan 'B'", I thought...(for the food, not the girl).
All joking aside, I love Wadupe; I love the sweet people who give me extra helpings of rotten fish because they love me; I love the children who stand around my windows and whisper like they are at the "white man" exhibit at the zoo; I love the relaxed way of fellowhip they are teaching me; and most of all I love the smiles on the faces when they see a little clearer that a better Wadupe is possible.
Bush rat and fish are a small price to pay to be here letting people know there is hope. Much Love
billy
(mom: sweet tea, fried chicken, apple pie etc...june 7th, you know the drill)
Sunday I preached at the small church I am attending in Wadupe. After the service the men sat around and talked as the women bustled around getting lunch prepared. First, hot tea...so good. Then came the big plate. As the lady ducked under the grass roof and through the small door into the mud hut I prayed, "Lord, thank you for dying and coming back to life. You are all powerfull and full of love. Please don't let that plate have dried fish in it." And don't you know He is so great. That plate indeed had no dried fish(dried fish is the one thing I absolutely hate about Sudan. It's fish that has sat out in the sun to dry. It's rotten and horrible and you have to eat all the little bones. Mothers should make their kids eat it when they say bad things). I looked at the mangled hunk of brown meat in front of me and thought, "maybe it's passover lamb."
"It's bush rat" said Rufus.
Ohhh...good, 'cause I...love me some bush rat.
I had just about stomached it down. My hands were shaking. I wondered if this is what Paul meant by suffering for Christ. But I could see the light. A few more bites and the deed was done. Plop. Plop. Two dried, stinky, rotten fish dropped right on top of my last bite of rat...sigh...(quietly mixing food around so it looks like I ate it)...deep breath..no way around it. Bones and all. I imagined Allie sitting on the dirt floor with a big plate of rat and rotten fish in front of her."I should probably start on a plan 'B'", I thought...(for the food, not the girl).
All joking aside, I love Wadupe; I love the sweet people who give me extra helpings of rotten fish because they love me; I love the children who stand around my windows and whisper like they are at the "white man" exhibit at the zoo; I love the relaxed way of fellowhip they are teaching me; and most of all I love the smiles on the faces when they see a little clearer that a better Wadupe is possible.
Bush rat and fish are a small price to pay to be here letting people know there is hope. Much Love
billy
(mom: sweet tea, fried chicken, apple pie etc...june 7th, you know the drill)
Thursday, April 5, 2012
the work is beginning!
Hey everyone! It is allie again.
Billy called this morning (woke me up actually) to say hello and ask me to write another blog for him. He had a whole beautiful one written and the internet connection went out RIGHT before he went to save and post it. Bummer! He is in Yei right now buying supplies needed to finish the school, and plans to return to Wadupe tomorrow morning. The village is holding a meeting to organize the final stages of finishing the school's walls and roof! How exciting!! Billy is confident that the building will be completely finished in the next two months.
It was so sweet to hear his voice. He is doing well, and again, appreciates all the prayers.
until next time!
allie
Billy called this morning (woke me up actually) to say hello and ask me to write another blog for him. He had a whole beautiful one written and the internet connection went out RIGHT before he went to save and post it. Bummer! He is in Yei right now buying supplies needed to finish the school, and plans to return to Wadupe tomorrow morning. The village is holding a meeting to organize the final stages of finishing the school's walls and roof! How exciting!! Billy is confident that the building will be completely finished in the next two months.
It was so sweet to hear his voice. He is doing well, and again, appreciates all the prayers.
until next time!
allie
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