out of the woods

it's been a while...

no more hiding...

no more resting...

im ready to begin again.

2010...on my last trip to sudan my world was rocked. my pride was crushed and i was faced with the fact that i need to grow up. i wasn't the man i thought i was and that's a good thing. the fall of 2010 i lost the love of my life due to insensitivity and arrogance. i ran off to sudan like an adventurous hero. and there i was faced with the ugly side of my own mortality. what i mean by that, is that i realized i was wrong(in many areas of my life). i realized i was a child and needed to learn a few things about real life...

i truly apologize to anyone who emailed me and didn't get a response in the past year. im truly sorry to anyone i have offended with my going off the grid. im sorry to those i offended when i talked negatively about college or working a normal job. i apologize for leaving people wondering what's happening in wadupe and with "why the woods." i know people really care and they/you deserve to know because they/you invested in my life and this work. and to anyone who could see me then rebelling against school, church, and responsibility...2010 was a rough fall. thank you to those who helped me through it.

2011...i was quiet...i worked a retail job in boone...i lived, i paid bills, and i realized that im no exception to anything. it was, in a weird way, the best year of my life. i did nothing that would be considered special. i wasn't a football champion, i wasn't a public speaker or the leader of a cool non-profit, i was a salesman at a store in boone for 9 bucks an hour just to make ends meet. it was real. it was humbling. and im sorry for ever thinking it was a waste of time or an ignoble way of life. it may be the most honorable and best way of life: to work and eat and provide...and make a difference in the community around you.

2012...im engaged to be married to that girl i lost; not by my own power, or my charm...oh how i tried to win her back...but by the grace of Jesus. it took a long period of dying to my self, being quiet, and growth before the Lord brought us back together in a beautiful way. im still growing, im still learning, and i realize that process will continue for the rest of my life. im incapable of managing this thing i called "why the woods." but this thing is a good thing. and that's why derrick and i decided to keep at it.

in the midst of my quiet year the roots of wtw have grown deeper. we are building a team, building a stronger foundation for the organization, and making great changes, which i will explain soon. we are all very excited.

im on my way back to sudan, march 18th...ill be there until june 7th. please pray for me and my fiance, allie, who will remain in boone at asu's nursing school and finish planning our wedding(july 7th).

if this email is weird and you have no clue what im talking about..that's ok. i needed to say it...in any case, i'll blog again very soon and explain the new changes for why the woods.

it's good to be back.

GOD is Greater

OK...GO GO GO!

Go into the wilderness and learn who you are. Go into the darkness and learn to love the light. Go amongst people and learn how to help. The main thing about foreign and/or local missions is to LEARN first, second, and third. Why The Woods went into Wadupe with a plan based on what we had previously learned about the village. But if learning never stops, then vision always grows, and plans are constantly improved. As we get deeper and deeper into the community (Wadupe) through personal interaction we learn more about the people and what they really need. In my last blog I talked about how the community didn't understand the project (primary school construction) and that they had largely rejected the task ahead. Surprised by this, Derrick and I hit our knees asking for direction and wisdom. What we learned is that we had overlooked the basic need of every human, thus we had overlooked the primary need for this project. We had assumed they already knew that all life, hope, and strength is from GOD and not from this world. But, Wadupe is human. They want money. They fear failure. They want to live well. Sounds a lot like me. But what I learned about myself on this trip...I need GOD first; so does Wadupe. "Seek and you will find."

Over time the volunteers dwindled down to five men. Refusing to give up, I focused my attention on these faithful five and we refocused our plan. We put the school construction on hold and focused on developing the Wadupe Development Committee. First we learned how to start and run a CBO (Community Based Organization). I worked with Rufus Anyibu, teaching him how to be a chairman for this community organization. I taught him how to plan and run a board meeting; how to make connections in town that may help develop and implement future projects; and how to mobilize the community. I worked with Michael Wake, Joseph Sebit, John Longutu, and Marchello Lugala, teaching them the duties of secretary, treasurer, vice chairman, and community relations. We all went through the book of Nehemiah and Matthew 4,5,6,7 to learn what GOD's word says about character, conduct, and work ethic. We were always reminded that faith in GOD is the life force of this project.

Second, we began assessing the needs of Wadupe in the realms of Spirit, Mind, and Body(physical). Through teachings about the basic, secondary, and advanced needs of humans, and some basic teachings about sustainability, the WDC began to think more realistically and showed maturity. For example: They started the lessons by asking me to buy them a tractor (the solution to all their problems, they thought). At the end of the trip they were asking for agricultural training instead. I was able to explain that for a community to get the point that it can operate and sustain something like a tractor there has to be a large foundation of knowledge and development. In other words,I told them, you don't need me to give you a tractor, you need to learn to survive on your own, to be educated on your own, and to develop yourselves economically to the point of obtaining and sustaining your own tractor. That is the story of every successful nation. How long was America a nation before it's people developed into tractor drivers, and how many foreigners came and built our nation for us? Answer: We built America ourselves, and it took a long time, but that is why we stand tall and strong. Every structure begins with a foundation. A tree begins with roots. Without roots it dries up and topples over. So many African aid projects have done just that. I want to develop the root system in this community. That may mean, as I learned on this trip, I have to work with five people and not the mass community. It may mean the school building will take years rather than weeks. I can see now why Jesus worked with 12. The masses just won't get it...yet. Just like the 12 changed the world, I believe over time these five will change their community.

The WDC was given a budget of 3000$ for 2011. With that they have selected and developed 7 community projects. They have also taken over the mobilization and construction of the primary school. Why The Woods is providing the construction materials and the Sudanese engineer for oversight. The WDC is mobilizing the community to either come and build or to pay for builders through taxation. Either way the school will be built by each member of that community, not by a white guy from the sky. In the end Why The Woods is developing five men. That may seem disappointing to donors. But in the end, five men can change eternity. A brick building will never do that.

My next trip to Wadupe will be to assess the WDC, their progress, and the school. Pray that they will have strength and wisdom to stay the course. Pray that they will see the Light of Jesus and run towards it heart, soul, and mind. Pray that GOD will bless their faithfulness and diligence. Pray especially for the upcoming referendum that could bring more war and killing.

Thanks for Reading. Much Love

Ready! Set! Whoa...

We have dug the footing and laid the iron bars. We are ready to pour the cement and start raising the walls. Funds, drawings, materials, and everything we need is ready. Except one thing. One thing that money won’t buy and I can’t force. Faith. This one key element has brought the construction to a grinding halt. I told the community from day one the school wouldn’t be built by a construction crew from outside, or anyone paid by Why The Woods because that would undermine the whole project and in effect create the very problem I am combating: dependency. I told them they would be the ones to build their own school. I have recently learned that what they thought I meant by “build your own school” was that they would just do what the other NGO’s require of the Africans: collect natural materials and help mix the cement “so they feel like they have ownership.” They were quite shocked when they finished gathering all the sand and stones and I explained that now they were actually going to build the school. The whole school. They say it can’t be them because they are simple, uneducated farmers and this project needs skilled, paid workers. To which I remind them that A)they don’t know what this type of construction needs because they’ve never built like this, B)the Israelites that built the wall around Jerusalem were also simple farmers, not professional builders, C)GOD is Greater than our inabilities.

As I have said many times, the project is the people. If it were about the school building it would obviously make sense to bring in a crew or a few builders to do the hard stuff. But my whole point with this project is to push the Wadupe mindset past the idea that they can’t do great things for themselves; to breed Hope when they see what they can do through the strength of GOD; and to create a community of dreamers, thinkers, and doers, rather than a village of beggars. We have tried to preach this idea to them. I have given so many of what I call “Obama speeches”(encouraging, fluffy, optimistic, etc) I can’t count them anymore. We have learned that no matter how many speeches we give, how many times we explain it to them, or how many comparisons we make with the Bible, they just don’t believe they can do it. For a while we were stumped. Frustrated. What do we do now? We never thought they wouldn’t want to build the school. I imagined a crowd of eager volunteers every day. I thought the hard part in all this would be getting the funds. But, to keep in line with the Why The Woods imagery, a tree starts with a seed, not logs and limbs and leaves. This seed, this faith in GOD, we thought was already here, we now realize dried up a long time ago. There is a spiritual darkness in this place, apathy towards GOD, and a strong faith in money and appearance. They are afraid of failure. They are paralyzed. They only see the wind and the waves (Matt 14). So although the surface needs are met by providing materials and instruction, there is a deeper spiritual need we must address. We cannot ignore it for the sake of producing a building. They will remain empty if we do.

Last Friday a group of 13 people from YWAM (Youth With A Mission) came to stay with us in Wadupe. For the next five weeks Why The Woods is playing host and informant as this group focuses on bringing the Spirit of GOD back to Wadupe.
Derrick and I are praying and fasting for this village. We are helping YWAM conduct outreach activities and seminars for the community. We pray they will believe again in the one true GOD. We pray they will see that through Him they “can do all things.” We pray that they will believe in this project and see how it will change their future for the better. In just a few days of YWAM being there we have already seen a renewed interest in building the school. There are a few who believe it can be done. So they are coming. I say let the few who believe in His strength build the school. Let those who don’t be ashamed when they see what GOD did here. We hope to restart the construction later this week or early next week. Please pray for those that believe and work, that they will be an example to those who don’t.

Wadupe Update

I finally got to a place with internet today. I have been in the village mostly working on the foundation for the school and haven't had a chance to travel to Yei. My dad spent two weeks out here with us and truly enjoyed the trip. The whole village called him Dad and they loved meeting him. Derrick and I are doing well and have made some good progress with the project. I will blog again very soon with the details of our progress and struggles. Much Love

GOD is Greater

Veneer

Once a week I join the citizens of Wadupe and walk almost three miles up to the main road. The walk leaves my feet dirty and my shirt sweaty. An hour later we stop where the Wadupe road meets the big dusty vein of commerce. To my right, Uganda is a day’s walk. Down that road terrified families once fled this place. To the left, a Toyota Land Cruiser could get me to Yei Town in 30 minutes. However, I rarely score a ride in a Land Cruiser. Market days are the best days to hitch a ride to Yei because there is generally more traffic. By the time I get there the market is already busy with gossip and trade. I get some peanuts and bananas and wait to catch an empty seat in a passing matatu or taxi. My favorite is when I get to ride to town on top of a truck loaded with people and sacks of beans or charcoal. I crawl up and squeeze in between the bewildered Africans. Some have heard about the white man who lives in Wadupe, the others are confused and entertained at the sight. I find a rope or something to grip for the next 15 miles(about 1 hour) and hold on. In the sun we sway and bounce down the red road cut through the deep green grass sprinkled with mango, papaya, and banana trees. I see brown skinned people along the way greeting neighbors, carrying goods to market, or fetching water. About 5 miles down the road I pass one of the saddest things I have ever seen in Sudan. In fact it has been a huge influence on Why The Woods.
As we crawl through a small village I fight negative thoughts when I see their primary health center. It sticks out of the landscape with cement walls and a shiny metal roof—a high commodity in this area, and quite a logistical accomplishment for whoever built it. No doubt Sudan is in much need of health care on any level. But, I am sad because this beautiful building sits empty—doors locked—teasing our eyes with the idea of progress; teasing us with the image of life saving healthcare when nothing but quiet darkness fills the cement rooms. I don’t know the story, I don’t know the reason, and I don’t wish to blame anyone but ignorance or circumstance. In fact I only want to use this image, not this particular building or organization, as an example of what must change.
The long gone organization that built this building in delusional hopes of helping these people is remembered only by the sign that marks their work. The building is so prominent and so commanding in this village of mud and grass. Yet, its strong shell is merely a quiet whisper of change—a gloom more than a hope. It’s a sad reminder that they [the Sudanese] weren’t heard, they weren’t helped, and nothing about their lives is different now. It’s sad to think of the resources that were used to merely change the landscape—the surface of this village. I fear in this instance we have misconstrued the meaning of “community,” “happiness,” and “need.”
I ask myself as I ride through, “What is my project…what is my purpose?” Can we place our veneer over this world and walk away? We have rushed to the aid of a country torn apart by war and tried desperately to rebuild. What we don’t realize is that what was destroyed in the war were people, not buildings. People are what we need to rebuild. The Why The Woods approach to rebuilding people is to inspire Love, Hope, and Knowledge. It seems easier to just look around and say, duh, they need a health center, let’s be proactive and build one. But that CAN’T be the first step. We must slow down and acknowledge the people first. Let us ask them, let us know them, let us understand them, and then let us empower them. Let them develop their own appearance. In the case of Wadupe, they have decided to rebuild their school. They may need material help, and that we can do well. But what good is another empty building built by another foreign group. Love has connected me with that village; a seed of Hope has been planted in their hearts and minds; new Knowledge is expanding their capacity; now, we are physically assisting them as they build. I refuse to merely change the surface and ignore the truth…the People are my project…His Love is my purpose.

"Why Don't They Just Farm?"

“So, why don't they just farm?"
I get asked this question a lot concerning the people of Wadupe and Africa in general. It’s a very logical question and I certainly don’t blame anyone for asking it. It seems the solution to Wadupe’s poverty is simple—good soil, hard work, and a market economy. If we could only teach them that they would be better off, right? We Americans are very industrious people. We see a problem, we form a solution, and we get to work; as a result we succeed in this world. We know that farming was and still is a huge part of America’s success, so it’s logical to ask "why don't they just farm?" It makes perfect sense…
* * *
The soil in Wadupe is as black as the volcanic rock it covers. One could almost plant thoughts and dreams and see green shoots the next day. A few days ago(July) I plunged my hoe into the soft ground. I was barefoot and naive. I had never hoed a garden before but I figured it couldn't be too hard to scratch out a few lines and plant some Pineapples. After churning the ground like a crazed human plow a few gracious friends stopped me from killing myself. They quietly asked if they could try and took the hoe from my hands. I couldn’t imagine what they could do to improve on my fine rows of pineapple suckers, but I have learned this routine all too well—try hard, realize I failed miserably, and then watch how the locals do it. I rested the pinching muscles in my back and rubbed the new blisters on my hands while they dug. Apparently farming is different in Sudan.
Wadupe used to be covered with huge farms. Fields of coffee plants stretched for acres through the Mugwo Mountain valley. Then, years ago…bombs dropped on their families and soldiers crept through the grass. Bullets pulverized their infrastructure; fire consumed whole properties. Their world ended and the Wadupe people scattered to neighboring countries with literally nothing but their native language. Injustice, by the name of Government, let evil men destroy the green growth of Wadupe. Hate had killed their progress. Sudan’s 21 years of war (almost my entire life) left this community with nothing but scars—scars like plowed marks across their black land; scars on their skin, scars on their hearts and minds, scars that might answer many of our questions if we are willing to listen.
After the war people returned to their homelands the same way they went out—with nothing but a common language. Under the mountain they found a new Wadupe. Crops were stolen, fields were burned, and the people who had not fled were dead or dying. The soldiers of both armies had plundered the whole area for food and slaves. The black soil in Wadupe was indifferent through it all; it nourished crops and weeds alike. It fed enemy and ally. It was destroyed by fighting and destroyed by peace. For years after the fighting the land sat untouched and uncultivated. When the former refugees returned to their farmland they found the African bush had taken over what the war had left behind.
* * *
In a sense we are right, they should “just farm.” But as the once successful farmer stands and looks at the rubble of his life, he wonders if dying or killing would have been a better way. However right we may or may not be about what they should or could do we formed our solution standing on American soil; we must understand that our solutions don’t always work for other worlds. If we don’t fully know their problems we can’t fully know the solution. In my opinion we have no right to tell a Wadupe farmer that the solution to his problems is farming. We have never farmed there. We don’t know his challenges. We don’t know his history. We don’t even know his name. Americans have such a great approach to problem solving; it is one that I am trying to implement in Wadupe using the story of Nehemiah—Pray, Prioritize, Plan, Work. I don’t think we should change our industrious mindset. It is a powerful tool that could really help this world. However, we must change our perspective. We fail when we say, Pray this way, Plan this way, Work this way. We must remember that “they” live in a different world than we. It is difficult for anyone to farm when your own government drops bombs on you.
In Wadupe I wanted a plot of pineapples, but first I had to learn how to make things grow there. I thought little black rows, a foot deep and a foot wide would look beautiful next to my house. And they probably would have—until the first big rain. In fact, my American garden was of no use in Wadupe. I learned from my friends that only rows a yard wide, piled two-feet high, would withstand the rainy season. In Wadupe I have to daily check my pride and remind myself that I am like a baby in that culture--barely able to speak or feed myself, and certainly not able to make a proper Wadupe garden. When we come at the world from the top down, bringing our answers and solutions to those “below” us, we risk oppressing the people we are trying to help. Only through a humble approach can we deeply impact another culture. The Why The Woods approach to the world is to be like water—slowly seeping into the lives of the poor and hopeless in order to nourish and empower. I was elated when I found this quote by Lao-Tzu: "The best [man] is like water. Water is good; it benefits all things...It dwells in [lowly] places that all disdain." Like our GOD who came and walked amongst us, we must first become like babes. We must listen and learn; We must seep low and deep; We must empower and nurture.

Life In Wadupe

I wake up at around 6 AM to birds and soft rain drops. I walk outside and stand beneath a young acacia tree in my front yard. I circled it with big stones last summer, and planted small purple flowers in the circle this summer. The stones make a nice morning seat. The sun rises over the Wadupe mountain, through the mango and acacia trees, and into the few clouds left over from last night. I breath in and soak up the life that radiates from the new grass, the new trees, the new flowers, the breeze. Everything is waking. Everything is gentle. GOD is painting this morning; He wants us to be quiet for a little while.

When the sun gets just over the trees, and begins to turn up its volume, I wake up Allie and Abby for morning tea. My pet monkey rides on my shoulder, or in my arms depending on his mood, as we walk down the path to the churchyard where the cooks have prepared hot water. Juma John, my newly hired base manager greets us with his wide Sudanese smile. He is a blessing from GOD. Juma updates us on the World Cup results, I struggle like a young parent to keep baby Monkey's curious hands off the table, Allie and Abby savor every sip of their african tea.

The girls work on various projects such as tidying the house, slashing the grass(cutting the grass with short metal sickles), painting our porch poles to discourage termites, or playing with the children who wander down our path. Allie and Abby spend the day with them teaching them English words and learning Kakwa in exchange. We even taught a few girls how to make bracelets out of colored thread which we bought back from them to help with their school fees.

There is one nine year old girl that we especially enjoy named Ena Estella. Ena has sass, or as we like to call it, "ENAtude." She looks at us white people like we are crazy with her hands on her hips, her lips poked out and one eyebrow cocked. She refuses to be intimidated by some crazy white people in her village. She dances like she owns the place and no boy is brave enough to push her around. We can't get enough of her smile and her laugh. (See the link to "Allie's Blog" for a picture of ENA). But we noticed in the past few days that Ena hasn't been her normal spicy self. She has coughing spells that come from deep in her chest and a fever that comes and goes. So when we hitched our weekly ride to Yei on top of a passing dump truck, loaded with sacks of beans and people, Ena was with us. She had walked the three miles to the main road, fever and all, with a proud strut, not at all afraid that the white people were taking her to town for the night. When we got to Yei, we took her to the compound where we stay. She flicked the lights "on" and laughed, "off," and laughed again. She put her hands in and out of the freezer then pressed them to her face. She first thought the shower was a latrine, but when Abby turned on the overhead water to wash away Ena's mistake, her clothes went flying and we could hear her laughing as she splashed the water all over her. The actual latrine was weird for her at first. She fell completely into the porcelain toilet. She laughed like we were the dumb ones for having such a weird thing, but again Abby helped her figure it out. The clinic gave us several types of medicine to help with her fever, the cough, and a de-worming pill. Yesterday she taught us a card game and fussed at us when we made mistakes. It's hard not knowing each other's language yet, but Ena doesn't need words.

A few weeks ago we established the Wadupe Development Committee. I am leading them in a Bible study twice a week that focuses on the book of Nehemiah. Through this study the committee is learning how to assess a need, develop a plan, count the costs, and write a proposal. I am showing the community that even a slave to the enemy king can do an impossible project if GOD is behind it. We are also learning the value of praying and planning before acting or asking. We have had great turnouts (20-70 people depending on the weather) and the people are asking really thoughtful questions. My hope is that one day the community will have the knowledge and the confidence to do their own development projects.

During the week the community gathers to collect stones and river sand that will be used when we pour the foundation for the school. In two days they collected enough stones to build a small castle. Just when we were about to begin collecting river sand, we had a full day of floodwater rains and the wooden bridge that connects Wadupe to the main road was washed away. Only two timbers remain for us to walk across. Until that gets fixed no vehicles can pass.

Please pray that the bridge will be repaired soon and that we will get the foundation ready before I return to the States for the month of August.