mychristmasstars

i would like to say that i spent this first christmas alone with my nose in the Bible finding strength and joy in the fact that God came to us as a baby to show us true life. i wish i could say that this Christmas i studied the word and grew closer to the Lord. i wanted to start this blog with something like, "i had no presents, no family, only God, and that made it the best Christmas ever." but i can't. actually this Christmas was a rollercoaster ride of emotions, due in part by the fact that in a time of loneliness i didn't rely on my Rock, my Savior, to fill the emptiness in my heart. the hot dusty days mocked what christmas feeling i did find in listening to "frosty the snowman," and the goat intestines and rice(those are the holiday goodies--yay for me) just didn't bring the smile to my face that a nice turkey would have. of course, i could have done what we are supposed to do at christmas time and spent the holiday praising our Savior. instead i found comfort in anything that felt like home...Christmas music, soda, red jello, and the emails and cards you sent me. but, believe it or not, my Christmas eve meal of rice and beans to the tune of "White Christmas" just didn't fill that hole in my heart. oddly enough i don't even think a hug from my mama could have completely filled it. i needed Jesus; but i was too lonely and depressed that i was in Sudan over Christmas to realize it. i put on my smile and preached the Christmas service at wadupe on Christmas day. i preached about "coming back" to Jesus if we have gone astray. i talked about how the wise men and kings humbled themselves and bowed to a baby in a manger. i said that as we start the new year we should start it on the path that God has made for us, by "coming back" to and following Jesus, and christians we should be like the star above the manger showing those who are "afar" the way to Jesus. but i preached all this with emptiness in my own heart. i wasn't buying what i was selling. i wasn't "coming back."

"i cried to the Lord with my voice. many cry to the Lord that they may win riches, that they may avoid losses; they cry that thier family may be established, they ask for temporal hapiness, for worldly dignities; and, lastly, they cry for bodily health, which is the patrimony of the poor. for these and suchlike things many cry to the Lord; hardly one cries for the Lord himself! how easy it is for a man to desire all manner of things from the Lord and yet not desire the Lord himself! as though the gift could be sweeter than the giver!"---St. Augustine; taken from "On Prayer and the Contemplative Life" by St. Thomas Aquinas.

sometimes we just need that star to show us the way back. i was able to hand this kid the only gift he got this christmas from you, the only family he had this christmas. this smile was the star i needed. he showed me the way back to the manger. through all the loneliness and homesickness i saw Jesus in his eyes. as St. Augustine says, we should desire the Lord Himself not just His blessings. as i handed out hundreds of cards at wadupe and at Harvesters orphanage the fact that i was away from all the pumpkin pies, snowy nights, cheesey christmas movies, and my family stung a little less. all those blessings i once knew i could now lay at the Lord's feet, for i had, as the shepherds, wisemen, and kings of long ago, seen the messiah.

i told the people at wadupe and the orphanage that there were hundreds of people at home that wanted the sudanese to know that they are loved and prayed for. one sweet kid at the orphanage, after receiving her card said to me, "thank you meesta beel (mr bill) and we pray for you too." i tell you this as a messenger from the sudanese to you. all of the smiles and thank yous that i was blessed by will be waiting for you in heaven. i deeply thank you for sending me over a thousand christmas cards to give to the wonderful sudanese. every single card was delivered to a very happy man, woman, or child.

Greetings from Sudan:

--your greetings are received. i greet you. God bless you. Galatians 3:27-28--Marchello Lugala

--we receive your christmas greetings. let this spirit of communication continue. 1corinthians 13:4-7--Grace Ngusuman

--i receive your greetings. i thought we were alone, meanwhile we are with you in Christ. i don't have gifts but let God bless you.--Joseph Andrew

--i send my greetings to all of you in the church in america. we are praying for you so that we have a relationship in prayer. John 15:4--Joseph and Betty

--i am by name pastor Rufus Anyibu wishing you in America merry Christmas and happy new year. peace to the brethren, and love with faith in Lord Jesus Christ. grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity, Amen--pastor Rufus Anyibu (my dear friend).

my friends, whatever your christmas star may be thank God for it, and follow it back to the manger, back to the beginning of it all, the birth of our Savior and Lord. it is possible to live even without the wonderful things of christmas time if we have love and grace from our father. in fact, it is life more abundant.

i personally thank all those who prayed for me and my family this christmas. and once again, thank you for all the wonderful cards. please, also remember all the missionaries who, like myself, spent this christmas with the people they serve. love you all and Merry Christmas.

quickupate

i haven't posted any updates in a while i know, and this is not even going to be a real in depth post, but i wanted to say thank you for the tremendous response to the christmas card project. we have received over 600 and more are coming. i know the kids at the orphanage will love getting the cards and all of the churches will appreciate them very much. i do have some stories to tell, but not enough time tonight to tell them. i head out for R&R thursday so i will write them then and let you know how things are going. love you all and appreciate your faithfull prayers and giving.

be sure to check out the prayer quests i have posted. a tragedy has struck boone n.c. and a dear friend has been taken from us. drew newell and his family were hit by a drunk driver, killing drew and leaving the father in critical condition. drew lived in the same dorm as me my freshman year and was a dear friend to my roommates from boone. in the short time i knew him, drew welcomed me as a friend and greeted me as if he had known me forever. we will truly miss his spirit and his love of life. his friends have created a blog to keep people updated on drew's father's condition and to post prayer requests for the newell family. pray for the family and check out the blog at http://www.newellreport.blogspot.com/.

cryforthem

if tonight is a quiet one, and you lay down to sleep with no fear in your heart, if tonight you only hear the crickets and bull frogs, and the soft chatter of the neighborhood kids, or a late passerby on his way home from work, if tonight you read this and can hear my cry, please i pray, please shed a tear. never a tear for me, for i am in the presence of the Lord, but cry for the sudanese, for they are like a cooing moses being placed in a basket and shoved into a raging nile.
my world was silenced today on my way to celebrate another meeting with several churches. the conversation of my passengers was lost as the rumble of truck after truck after truck, filled with soldiers and ak47s, passed by us on their way to the northern states. "they are moving soldiers to the northern border," said my sudanese counterpart. "the south is demanding immediate independence." with every truck that passed my throat closed into a knot and my eyes filled with a cry i am asking you to have for me, for at that time i had to hold back the tears and maintain a joyous demeanor to greet new churches and make new eternal friendships. because these villages are cut off from the majority of the outside world, many of them are ignorant to what is happening in their country. the refugees are returning from the first war to be resettled in a new peaceful home, the people are rejoicing as we come in to build them a "permanent" church, but the clouds are getting darker over sudan and the winds are changing. i can imagine the pain moses' mother felt as she looked into the eyes of her smiling child, who only knew the innocent peaceful moment he was in, and not the dangers he was floating towards. today as the trucks rolled by, all the wonderful people i have come to love smiled at me and shook my hand the african way, and sang their wonderful songs. i then imagined myself standing between the two charging armies with my hands stretched to heaven crying to God. why do guns and bullets silence the crying and not love.
do not be afraid for me. i promise i am not in any danger. but i am begging you, i am calling you to prayer and fasting for the country of sudan, the "gateway to africa." please pray for the arab and christian alike, for the northerner and the southerner, that they will find peace, and know the love of Jesus. don't send a christmas card to them saying you have prayed if you haven't, don't send me an email saying the sudanese are on your hearts if they are not, for this is a serious matter. so tonight shed a tear, thanking God for His mercy and for the wonderful sudanese.

Christmas Cards

***Please send christmas cards to sudan as quickly as possible. it takes a while for them to be mailed all the way here. so to keep my family from being bombarded with hundreds of cards all at once, please send them in the next few weeks.

they will need to be mailed from the U.S by the first week in Dec. so try to get them to my family before then. again the address is

153 Gibson Way
Mocksville NC 27028

be sure to make note that it is for sudan***

awesome

these kids were welcoming us to have an official meeting with a church in which a contract is signed between us and them. this took place a few weeks ago, actually when i had malaria, but i just now figured out how to post it. it may take a while to download, but i promise it is worth the wait. they are singing, "welcome to ****** we are happy today."

nakedlady'sgoat

most of my job, as i may have mentioned before, is spent driving. the nearest church that i work with is two and a half hours from our base. the farthest is four hours. needless to say, driving four hours one way to meet with a church, who isn't prepared to meet or worried the least bit about time, makes for a long day.
the early morning trip to the gas station tuesday foreshadowed how long of a day it would be. in sudan, gas stations work like the rest of africa, survival of the fittest. the biggest, pushiest, and most demanding gets gas. these are times when you have to remind yourself to be a christian. i pulled my truck up to the pump at about nine o'clock. and as though they had planned it, about 40 motor bikes rushed to the pump at the same time to refuel. no line or organization, just chaos. around ten we had had enough so we inched our truck through the pack to get closer to the pump. there is no such thing as personal space here. if you stand in a line expect the person behind you to be jammed into your back. same with vehicles. if there is space enough to fit a sheet of paper, they will park a motorbike. finally after convincing the pump man to stop filling the motorbikes who just pulled up, and fill our truck that has been waiting for an hour, we filled up and hit the road. that put us about an hour late to our meeting with the church, which is not close to being a big deal in africa.
when we showed up to the church they weren't even there or ready to have a meeting, as if it had never been scheduled. so we sat with the pastor's wife while he rounded up the congregation. like i said, this church is four hours away from our base so after a two hour meeting and a four hour drive, we hobbled in well past eight.
wednesday outlasted tuesday by an hour putting us back after nine at night. two days in row we were out past eight. so thursday i used my administrative privileges and declared a compound workday. so we planned for the rest of the week, built a cage for my chameleon named paul, and i carved a sweet knife completely out of wood (pictures to come).
but friday, well friday was a first. i was trucking along a pretty smooth part of the road about 45 km per hour when a baby goat, which i have come to believe is the dumbest animal ever invented, decided to dive under my tire. he was safe and sound on the grass off the road, but i guess he figured he would like to wrestle with my tire. he twitched for a few minutes and then took his last gasp as we stood around and waited for the owner to come and beat me up. just kidding, but seriously it could happen out here. luckily the owner was in uganda this week. unluckily his sixty year old naked wife came to see what the problem was, which at this point ceased to be the dead goat. not that sixty year old ladies can't be beautiful, but at this time in my life i personally don't desire to see them naked. maybe that's just me. anyways, the extremely topless lady told us to go on to the church and she would figure out what to do. i had a few suggestions of what she might first want to do, but thought it inappropriate to speak up. after all i had just killed her husband's baby goat, and it was kind of hot out.
on our return my translator, the nearby pastor, me and the lady, who thankfully thought it to be more professional to put on a shirt, sat down to discuss the goat. after some bargaining we finally talked the lady down to seventy pounds, or just under thirty five dollars. pretty expensive for a baby goat i thought, but us NGO's (non governmental organization) have dollar signs on our chests. fully clothed chests i might add. like i said, friday was a first and hopefully a last.

justabitofwriting

well this week was work as usual, four wheel it out into the bush, deliver some food, talk to some amazing people, and see beautiful kids. the snake we killed on our compound this week was a little one, and the chameleon we are keeping as a pet just sits around and eats crickets with his ginormous tongue. so nothing really to get excited about. so i figured i would just do a bit of writing. this actually is taken from a journal i like to doodle in every now and again. it doesnt really have a title but here goes....

i am but a vapor.

i am a moment of freedom choosing the way in which i rise. the world around me shapes this blip of time and space that i will call my life. but above all there is a calling, a truth, a purpose that will exalt me to unknown glories. there is one path to this truth and it is burning in my soul. as my body, soul, and mind are constantly at war, wrestling to become the single factor that guides my life, i am twisted, mangled, and split. i search for peace and a life unified with this calling. and when i am most broken and my world is a dark one, then i find light. i find a heavenly light that sings to me and leads me once again down the path of truth. i call this light grace. i look forward into the light and all i can do is love the Gracious.