journal entries: my first trip (2007)

i am going to periodically post journal entries from my first trip to sudan (2007). i hope you enjoy these stories.

INTRODUCTION

When I was a kid, though most would say I still am, a missionary came to my church to show some slides. Honestly, I was bored out of my mind. I sat and thought, “How do these people live, especially their kids, with no T.V.s and no Nintendos. These kids must hate their lives. They don't even have football at their foreign schools!!" Then I fell asleep on the pew...sorry mom. I had heard my preacher say once that when he was a kid he said that he would never be a preacher. I made sure that night God didn’t hear me say that I would never be a missionary, because I didn’t want Him asking me to be one. But deep down inside I said it, and i meant it..."never." That night I felt a gut fear come over me that God was smiling at my stubborn promise. What if I was asked to do the one job I never wanted to do? Naturally I pushed that fear out of mind and ran off in other directions hoping it would just go away. But as time went on I couldn’t ignore the calling—the burning passion I had for people of other colors, cultures, and languages. Now, looking back, I see that the directions I chose to run were God’s way of preparing me for the one job I now pursue with all my heart. Although I think we are all missionaries in our different fields, God has sent me to the uttermost. Now, I have slides and stories of my own, and I hope some kid will sit there saying, “There is no way I could do that,” because that’s just the humble, fearful heart God will mold.

There are many reasons to fear Sudan, but I have learned that fear is sometimes necessary to truly rely on God. Moses was afraid; Nehemiah was afraid; Ananias was afraid; fear is just a part of accepting and doing this work. But that majestic moment when God reveals a glimpse of His glory through a child smiling, a man helping his brother, a moment of true Jesus-love, all fear is hushed by God’s promise of joy and life abundant.

My first encounter with the wonderful Sudanese was filled with many moments of fear and joy. These are the recorded stories of two months spent in Southern Sudan. Though it was a short time spent, I believe it was just the beginning of something my mind cannot yet grasp.

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